Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Political Confession



I have a confession to make. Over the past couple of months, I've been living a lie.

As my political philosophies have been shaken to their core by greater success in life, an increased income and the collapse of our once great economy, I've started to find truth in a new brand of politics.

My lie is this: I told my parents, my friends and my co-workers that I had already voted but I only recently left the polling place in Forest City.

I told my parents, my friends and my co-workers that I voted nearly straight-ticket Democrat.

Once again, this was a lie.

Tonight I voted for nearly all the Republican candidates (Brandstad, Grassley, etc.) and voted to get rid of the three activist judges on the Iowa supreme court.

As a straight, white, male who has, on occasion, enjoyed shooting a gun or two, I finally feel I have found my political home with the Grand Old Party.

My only wish is that we could have had a Tea Party candidate in this great, conservative state.

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Many of those who know me well are likely thinking...."Josh, I thought you were an ardent liberal who supported Obama and the progressive cause?"

Well, friends, I once did indeed hold these political leanings. But 21 months of the Obama Administration has changed my preconceptions about the role of government.

There are many conservative candidates that I would be proud to support in 2012 but none more-so than Sarah Palin. Indeed, she has helped shape my new political philosophy.

A philosophy that will help America restore its place in the world and one that hearkens back to the days of our Founders.

This new political philosophy includes the following principles:

No Federal Income Tax - In 2012, with a Republican controlled House and Senate, we should work to abolish the federal income tax. This will spur job creation, significantly reduce the size of government and help small business owners.

Repeal Obamacare - Many of you may be asking how the government can function at all without federal income taxes. Well, it's quite simple, actually. Repealing Obamacare, no longer spending money on bailouts, cutting legislative pork, and stopping medical malpractice suits should take care of the amount of revenue previously accounted for through federal income taxes.

Obamacare has ruined our health care system and it's only been around for a few months. Just think what will happen if we let it continue!

Now I realize that health care costs will probably continue to rise, as they were prior to Obamacare. But at least Obamacare will be gone and you'll have all those federal income tax dollars to spend on the annual 10-15% increase in your health care costs.

And look at what happened when Reagan reduced the top income tax bracket to 50%, the national debt went from a ridiculous $4 trillion to a much more manageable $1 trillion (figures from TeaParty.com).

It's just sound economic philosophy. Cut taxes. Cut the debt.

Eliminate Social Security and Medicare - The elimination of these entitlement programs will allow us to balance the budget and get rid of the national debt completely, I think.

With every American employed by 2014 under a Palin Administration, everyone will have plenty of time and money to save up for retirement and the cost of health care as they age. Of course, the stock market will be booming with all the job creation from the elimination of federal income tax and future retirees need only invest a small part of their income in aggressive stocks like Lehman Brothers, General Motors, Chrysler, Google and Facebook, to see their retirement portfolio grow like a giant beanstalk.

Stop the gays from marrying - My friend's mom and dad recently got divorced and I just know it was because Iowa started allowing gay marriages. How do I know this? Well, his parents told me.

They said that same-sex marriage had ruined the sanctity of marriage and they no longer wanted to be married.

They told me they had survived the domestic disputes, the teenagers who got into meth, and their house recently being foreclosed upon (due to Obama and his increased taxes on the middle class).

But once the gays could marry in Iowa, their marriage meant nothing and they were forced to go their separate ways.

We must not let this happen any longer. The next amendment to the constitution should be to prohibit gay marriage.

Or else before we know it, the divorce rate for heterosexual couples could reach the catastrophic rate of 50% or more.

I know, it's a scary thought but this is where "progress" has brought us to.

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Let me sum up my new political philosophy in a few bumper-sticker-length phrases:
  • NO income tax
  • NO Obamacare
  • NO social security
  • NO medicare
  • NO gay marriage
  • NO new federal spending
  • NO, God Damn It, NO!
  • Tea Party, Hell Yes!
  • PALIN-DAMM 2012!
Enjoy the ride (on the Tea Party Express to Freedomland),
Damm

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